Release
by Lonna
Summary: Pan looks at Goten as a younger Goku, and the two are close. However, due to a mild family disagreement, they are forced apart. Pan is thrown into a world of lonliness, and only one can bring her out. This is a T/P folks. This isn't a Goten/Pan incest fic
1. Prologue

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Release

Prologue

She held her hand out and slowly ran her fingers across the bridge of his nose, a gesture that was routine for the pair. He gave a goofy grin, but the sadness remained in his eyes. He held his arms out for that one last hug, and she immediately obliged, desperately clinging to him, begging him to stay with the tightening grasp of her hug. He gave her a kiss on her forehead, gently pried himself out of her grip, and winked, a tear sliding down his cheek. He then grabbed his bags, and made his way to the door. He turned around once more, his face distorted into an expression of anguish. And he cried out before he launched out of the cozy cottage, and quickly left the area before he couldn't handle anymore.

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A/N: Yes, I realize that I am taking a break from my T/P fiction. This story is to help me forget some traumatic things. I have a feeling this will be considered one of my better works. I am happy to say that I do plan on continuing "The Tears I've Cried" series. Well, that's all I'm going to say for now. 

__

This is dedicated to my loving brother, Jason. I love you.

(This story was inspired by Chibs's "When You Get There." It's very thematic and deep. It's an awesome piece of work, but is incomplete, unfortunately. Give it a look.) 


	2. No More Tears

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Release

Chapter 1: No More Tears

I watched him numbly as he flew away; I hadn't yet grasped reality. A few tears made their way down my cheeks, but I refused to show more than that. The front door was left ajar, and I made my way over and closed it.

My footsteps were heavy as I trudged up the stairs. My whole body was weary with emotional torment. I laid on my bed, refusing to cry. I held my breath for a minute, so the feeling was forced to pass. I then I heard my door creak. Mom opened the door to my room, and she peered in.

"Panny?" she said softly.

I forced myself to show no emotion. 

"Are you okay?" she questioned.

I gave a chuckle, "Of course, Mom. Goten will visit. I'll see him again."

She gave a sad smile, "Okay Panny. Dinner in ten minutes."

And with that, she shut the door.

I turned over onto my side and peered at my nightstand. A picture of Goten rested upon a stack of books. Obaa-san had it developed in black and white. He wasn't smiling but his face held a thoughtful expression. It's my favorite. 

I could not believe he was gone. Uncle Goten. _My _Uncle Goten. The whole thing was Dad's fault. All Dad's fault. Yeah I knew what Goten did was wrong (he took me to a bar and I'm 17), but Dad gave Goten a choice that was ridiculous. He either had to abide by all of my father's rules, which include no staying out after 11, always calling when being late, and all that kind of shit, or…he could leave. 

I don't blame Goten for choosing what he chose. And I know he didn't want to leave me. Which is why I am not going to cry. I have already forgiven father. Him and Goten are not angry with each other, but he is not allowed to live here for a while. 

I sighed and sat up. Now, who was I going to talk to? 

Just then, the phone rang, startling me.

I reached for my phone, "Moshi Moshi?"

"Hiya Panny!" a cheerful voice greeted me.

"Goten!" I screeched. My eyes instantly watered, "Where are you at?"

"Oh, I live in an apartment in downtown Satan City. It really nice."

My heart broke at the thought of him living over 3 hours away, but I realized that he was happy. I involuntarily sniffled.

"I miss you, Panny," he said softly, "and I'll visit you tomorrow."

My ears perked and I smiled but a strangled sob managed to escape my throat anyway. 

I heard Goten swallowing thickly and I knew he was forcing back tears, "Listen Chibi…,"

She gave a slight smile at her nickname.

"Don't you cry for me anymore. I'm still able to keep in touch with you and I can visit you and everything. Nothing has changed, Pan. Nothing. I want you to hold together and be strong. For me. I can't handle it when you cry."

He cleared his throat, "Now promise me, Panny, that you will continue on with your life, and you won't get down or depressed. Promise me."

I closed my eyes and tears rolled down my cheeks, "I promise, but I'll still miss you."

"I'll miss you, too, Panny, and goodnight."

"Goodnight Goten." 

And we hung up. And I went downstairs and ate dinner. And I didn't cry.

****

A/N: Yeah, I know its short, but I have to make sure people like it before I continue it. : )

(this story has a special meaning to me, so it may not make much sense to you. This I apologize for.)


	3. Realization

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Release

Chapter 2: Realization.

Sunlight streamed through my partially open curtains. My eyes closed tighter and I gave a yawn. Suddenly, the events of yesterday hit me like Ojii-san Vegeta's punch. 

A small whimper escaped my throat, but I shrugged it off, remembering my promise. I glanced at my clock seeing that it was seven. Yawning again I put on my robe and made my way to the restroom. 

After taking care of early morning hygiene, I changed my clothes and headed for the breakfast table. When I walked into the kitchen, I noticed two special people sharing thoughts over Obaa-san's famous green tea. 

I swallowed the lump in my throat and put a smile on my face as I approached Goten and Trunks. They turned and gave me wide grins as I sat down. Trunks's smile usually had the ability to make my heart skip several beats, however, today it had no effect at all. I guess that's what came with Goten's departure. 

"So, how are you doing this morning, Panny?" Goten asked. 

His eyes showed that he was concerned about me. So, I flashed my pearly whites.

"I'm fine, nice and rested."

He bought it. 

Trunks took a sip from his mug. I noticed him studying my face from the corner of my eye. I was guessing that he knew about the whole problem. I just let him look, pretending I didn't notice. But I decided I was hungry, so I got my stack of pancakes and quickly devoured them.

I wiped my mouth and noted the two hybrids amused smirks. I assumed it was directed towards my huge appetite. They really had room to laugh.

"Hey guys," I said suddenly, "You wanna go swimming today?"

Trunks looked as if he was pondering the thought, "Yeah, but I have to go get my swim suit from home. I'll be back in a little bit."

And with, that he left.

Goten looked at me with tenderness, "Hey Panny…"

I smiled a little, "Hi Goten."

"You like your surprise?" he questioned.

I blinked. I had no idea what he was talking about.

He laughed, "I brought Trunks over to cheer you up. I know how much you like him."

He did know how much I liked him. Goten had found me one time, sobbing my eyes out, and he comforted me and eventually asked what was wrong. In one night, I told Goten everything. The pressure of not being a Super Saiya-jin. The fact that I would never see Grandpa again. How much older Trunks was and how I loved him. Since that night, we've been inseparable. We're known as the trio, Goten, Trunks and me. Always together. 

"Thanks Goten, but even Trunks doesn't make me feel any better right now."

He sighed. Suddenly, I felt bad. Here was Goten, trying his dead-level best to make me happier, and I was being selfish.

"I'm fine Goten, I mean, I still talk to you everyday and I'm sure your visits will keep up."

His face brightened a bit, noticing that his efforts were not in vain. 

"Good. Now lets go get dressed!"

He dashed off to his room; Chichi left it the same so it would be waiting for him the day he came back.

I walked slowly to my own room, thinking about my life. Goten, was my best friend, even closer that Trunks. He understood my problems and he always tried to do something to help them. However, I knew that the main reason Daddy decided to give Goten that choice. He knew it was time. Goten is, what, 31 years old? Dad knew it was time for him to get on with his life. The sad thing is, I knew it too. And as much as I wanted to keep Goten here, I knew I wouldn't. And I knew that he would eventually grow apart from me, and though we would always have that special connection, it'll never be the same.

"Pan! We're ready!"

Somehow, while in my thoughts, I had already dressed out. Oh well. It made it easier.

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A/N: This story has a slow start, but its going in the direction I want. I'd like to the wonderful reviewers who are giving this story a chance!


	4. Some things never change, and other thin...

Release

Chapter 3: Some Things Never Change, and Other Things Do

It was the most fun I'd had in years, splashing with Goten and Trunks. We spent hours at the lake that day; we did everything water related. We even talked about our lives. It's been two months since then. I've accepted Goten's absence. 

I wish I hadn't.

The phone calls come less frequently, his visits not as often, and dinner at my house? Ha, he's always so busy. Some chick has him wrapped around her little finger, and to tell you the truth, I could rip that finger off. 

He was _my Goten before she came along. My only wish is that I knew who __she was. _

I sighed. Goten really has grown up. He's realized what's happened was for the best and _he is making the __best of it. _

Damn it. I hate knowing what's right. I wish I was still a child so I could pout in fucking peace. 

Oh rich, my father would have loved to hear that statement come out of my innocent mouth. 

Grumbling, I roughly snatched my light coat off of the back of the chair. Doing so broke the back of the chair in half. Ignoring it, I slung the jacket over my shoulder and stormed out of my room. 

After I said a quick goodbye to mom, I loaded myself into my car and exited the house. On the road, I pulled out my cell phone. 

"Who would you like to call?" The digital voice stated.

"Goten."

"Dialing 'GOTEN.'"

The phone rang three times before Goten picked up.

"Hello?"

Tears involuntarily sprang to my eyes, "What's up Ji-Chan?"

"Panny?" I could hear his smile. "What's up chicka?"

I bit my lower lip, "Wanna go get some ice cream? My treat…"

My voice was hesitant and low, something very un-Pan like, especially around my uncle. Goten knew instantly that something was wrong.

"Hey Pan, you act like I'm going to laugh at your offer like it's the dumbest thing in the world. Of course I wanna go. But you have to tell me what's wrong when we get to The Ice Cream Corner. Okay?"

I smiled a little, "Okay, see you there in thirty minutes."

"'Kay, Bye!"

"Bye."

Its funny. To this day, Goten will never turn down a treat to ice cream. Some things never change, I guess. But, other things do because Goten never used to turn me down at all.

Oh well. I had my uncle for the afternoon, and I was happy with that.

**Okay guys! Sorry about the long wait! Just to clear things up, this is NOT a Pan/Goten incest fic. I apologize to those who thought it was. This will turn out to be a T/P, but not till later on. Thanks for the support! **


	5. Vision

Release

Chapter 4: Vision

_"They say vision-- it takes you back to just where you want." –RES _

_~*~_

_My grip was slipping…his hands were sliding out of my own…_

_Don't let go! Don't leave me here! I love you! I love YOU!_

_Sobbing…_

_Don't leave me here…_

     Goten was happily munching on his fourth ice cream sundae. I, on the other hand, hadn't touched mine. I could only smile at his happy face, thrilled with the fact that he still enjoyed my company. We'd discussed many things in the first fifteen minutes. He knew better than to approach my problem straight up. He had learned that waiting would eventually coax a problem out of me.  For being incredibly naïve, Uncle Goten had his strong areas of knowledge. __

_My arms were tired; the weight of his body was too much…I will not let go! Never!_

_He throws a pained look up at me…_

_"One of us will die or we both will."_

    "So, do you still like Trunks?" 

    It seemed like such an innocent question to most. However, I knew what Goten was doing. He thought Trunks was the cause of my awkward attitude. That's right Goten, don't think that _you could ever be the cause of my hurting._

     "Yes," I stated simply. I took a long sip through my straw and smacked my lips, "Not that it has anything to do with us."

     He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Wise of him.  

_No! I will NOT let you GO! I'll NEVER LET YOU GO!_

_Blood trailed down his arm where my nails dug in…_

_Desperately fighting to hold on…_

     "Haven't heard much of you lately," I said bluntly.

     He took a big bite out of the banana protruding from his sundae and chewed with an excited sparkle in his eyes.

     "Well, along with work, I've met someone."

     I blinked. I knew it. Well it was bound to happen sometime. I hope she's sweet. I can imagine him spending his life with someone he loves. Goten knows how to treat someone special. My oji-chan…he's the closest thing I've got to my grandpa. And while no one could ever compare to Goku, no one could ever compare to Goten either.

_Tears streamed down my face…_

_I furiously wiped them away…they only clouded my vision…_

_I wanted to remember his face forever as a clear picture…a symbol of family's love…_

     "You're gonna love her, ya know that?" He had this giddy expression in his eyes that I just can't explain, like a child handing you your Christmas present that he just knows you're going to love.

     "When do I find out who he she is?"

     "Sunday."

     Well, it was Friday. Not too long of a wait. I continued to study my uncle's face. Even as he ate, he seemed so happy as he thought about his new date. It's obvious that Goten had found the significant other of his life. Delirious happiness was etched all over his expressions and I knew that my uncle was in good hands. An unexpected tear trickled down my cheek and I quickly looked down before Goten noticed.

_Goodbye my friend…I love you…_

_And I finally let go and let him travel to another place…_

_Release…release was needed…I had no choice but to let him go…_

I awoke that night, startled. My dream had been a weird one. But for some reason, relief had come with the release of the soul in my dream.

~*~

_"They say vision takes you back to where there's no conscience, free from how you really see."—RES_

**WOW! Consistent producing of chapters! Cool! Feedback is appreciated! Also, I apologize for the shortness. I can get chapters up everyday if they're this length. They will eventually get longer though. --Lonna**


	6. Returned Love

Release

Chapter 5: Returning Love

_"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."-- Iris Murdoch_

_~*~_

     I walked home; my car was capsulated and tucked in my back pocket. Goten had a date to get to. I hope this girl knows exactly how lucky she is, because if she doesn't, I'll make it painfully obvious. My legs we're moving at a steady pace, and I began to think about my life. One-fourth Saiyan, daughter of a celebrity and a genius, powerful fighter, love sick, hopelessly attached to her uncle. Notice how school and college weren't mentioned once? There are more important things to life. I clasped my necklace unconsciously.

_"Tanks Unca Gogo!" __The small girl examined the ring in utter fascination. The tiny golden band was donned with a small orange ball with four red stars on the inside._

_"So pretty Unca! Pan wuvs you!" and she hugged him hard._

     My fingers eventually out grew the tiny ring, so mother had it placed on a gold chain. It was now part of my appearance and I never left without it. I sighed. The decision had been hard, but I had made up my mind to let Goten live his life. I may not be as smart as my father, but I am smart enough to know that people move on, often times leaving things they cherish…behind. 

     I was obviously so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't feel the time pass by. The sun was starting to set and I was at the front door of Capsule Corp. A cup of tea and a chat wouldn't hurt. I knocked on the door. Vegeta answered.

     "What the hell do you want, Kakkorot's brat's brat? Our sparring match is not till tomorrow," he sneered.

     "I'm just stopping by Veggie. Is Bra here?" I asked.

     Vegeta grunted, "She left a little while a go. She had a "date" or whatever you humans call the silly mating rituals."

     "Darn. Well, I'm coming in anyway. I'm running a little late and I'm going to call home."

     Vegeta grumbled but let me in. I made my way to the phone on the kitchen counter. After a quick conversation with Mom, I had decided to stay the night to train a little. I hung up the phone then went to the kitchen to fetch my tea. Raspberry tea sounded good. Mandarin orange is also tasty. I finally decided on Mandarin orange. After brewing it, I was stirring the sugar in my tea and letting the delicious aroma lift my mind. 

     It had always been his favorite.

A large hand settled on my shaking shoulder, and I realized that I was crying. The tears had fallen quickly, but the path was still fresh. 

     "Are you okay, Panny?"

     I cleared my throat, "I'm fine, Trunks." A shuddering breath escaped my lips, and several more tears fell. I began to furiously stir my tea; droplets of it burnt my skin. I felt another large hand settle on my other shoulder, and my eyes squeezed shut. Before I could comprehend what was happening, I was pulled into a tight bear hug. I began to shake as my tears finally surfaced and I cried silently, dumping the water of my eyes on Trunks's shoulder. He rubbed my back soothingly.

     "You feel like you're losing him, Pan, but you're not. He still loves you very much. You have no idea how much that guy talks about you." he stated sincerely. 

     My crying was close to stopping though my breathing was still irregular. My fingers had laced through Trunks's, and we were leaning against a wall, his back to the wall. 

     "How about you sleep next to me tonight." He suggested.

     We did it often; sleep in the same bed, him, Goten and me. It was an innocent suggestion and one that I did not want to say no to. So I agreed. 

     After allowing me the time to change, Trunks joined me in his room. We crawled under the covers of his large bed, and after he stroked my cheek with the backside of his hand to make sure I was through crying, he wrapped his arms around my waist and I began to fall into a blissful sleep. My last conscious thought was hearing Trunks's voice…

     "I'll never leave you Pan. Don't worry about that."

~*~

I woke up to very blue eyes staring intently at me. After giving a startled gasp, I tired to sit up, but a firm grip was held on my waist. I glanced questioningly up at him.

     "You were smiling in your sleep. That was good to see. You were a wreck last night."

      "Yeah I was," I replied groggily. "Can you let go of me? I have to pee."

     He looked down at his hands that were protectively holding on to my waist and chuckled nervously before letting me go. I went to the bathroom and tried to shake the memory of his warmth out of my head. After talking care of my business, I stepped back out. He was still lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. I took this chance to startle him by running and pouncing on him. What I didn't know was that he was expecting it. 

     He caught me in the air and I started giggling like a school girl. He smirked before suddenly reaching up and kissing me softly on my lips. My eyes flew open and I gasped out loud. I felt him smirk against my lips before slipping his tongue in my already agape mouth. I felt my eyes drift shut and I began to kiss him back. He was purring contently and he put his hands on both sides of my face. He finally pulled away and ran his thumb over my lips. I could feel the raw emotion in the room. He kissed my forehead and spoke.

     "I had a dream last night that some guy took you away from me. And you loved him with everything you had. But what made it more unbearable was that you loved me before him, but I pushed you away."

     He began to nuzzle my neck affectionately, "You married him and left us all behind, and I was hurt that you forgot about me. I decided when I woke up that I would confess my feelings for you. Goten has always given me subliminal hints that you liked me so I figured I had nothing to lose."

     I nervously ran my fingers through his hair. I suddenly began to breathe really hard.

     "Pan? What's wrong?"

     I felt his hands support my lower back and neck as he kissed my lips softly.

     "It's okay Panny. Breathe," I did as I was told, "That's a good girl."

     I grasped his large hand in my own, "Sorry Trunks, it's just that it happened too fast. I thought I didn't have a chance with you and then all of a sudden, you admit to having feelings for me."

     He nodded.

     "How about we get another hour of sleep?" he suggested.

     I curled up to him, "Sounds good to me."

~*~

**Not angsty this time, I decided to give the T/P fans something to read. I'm also trying to make my chapters longer. Did anyone notice???? R/R! --Lonna**


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